Newton Vale had had a bad run for a long time now. They were bottom of the league and couldn`t get out. The team blamed the flies.
In the changing room before every game, their manager, Bill Wainwright, would strut pompously in with his best buddies smile.
‘Now then lads, lets make this the break through’
‘Can`t Bill, you know why.’ All the players nodded.
‘Now don`t start that again.’
‘You know why we can`t Bill,’ said captain big Al from under his bright blue jersey.
‘I only know what you lot say is why’ Bill dismissed them with a sweep of his arm.
‘It`s them flies they`re everywhere’
‘In your boots is the worst.’
All the players suddenly froze. Violently they began banging boots on the floor, or tipping them upside down. Some even took them off to check there was nothing inside. They went onto the field shuffling and skipping as if that would get rid of residual flies in their boots. They were worried men. Bill knew something had to be done. He`d tried a psychologist, and a hypnotist. Had a variety of trainers, all with revolutionary methods. But no result. The club still lost all games. He walked down to the club bar telephone.
‘Hi Mum Billy here’
‘Billy love, when are you coming down?’
‘Mum, does Dad still feed the spiders in the shed?’
‘Oh your Dad does some funny things, don`t you worry about him.’
‘No seriously Mum, I need to know.’
‘Tell him I`m coming down to see them tonight.’
Billy got into his sparkling new Mercedes, and set off to the outskirts of London.
When he arrived he made his way straight down to the shed at the bottom of the garden. His dad was in there staring into a corner. He was watching a dusty spider's web.
‘She'll be out soon lad, just wait and see’
Bill's mother found them later as dusk was settling over the quietening suburb.
‘Oh there you are, dinner's ready’
‘Shh, she's just coming out’
A large black spider was seen at the edge of the web. Long black legs were feeling their way towards the fly Bill's dad had placed in the centre.
‘She's huge Dad’
‘Wait till you see her kids, three she's got, hidden at the back there, just as big as her’
Further slow movements and three more spiders emerged crawling slowly towards the bait.
‘I need to borrow them Dad’
‘I`ve had them along time, they`re part of the family Billy’
‘I know Dad, I`ll take care of them’
So early next morning, Bill set of in his shiny new car, a battered old cardboard box, tied with string, tucked under the dashboard where he could see it.
On the way he stopped for petrol, not self-service, not for Billy.
‘We have a new service today sir, a quick interior valeting for customers spending over £20’
‘Righto!’ Bill got out of the car.
The man approached with sprays and cloths. Billy turned in time to see the man taking the lid off particularly vivid can.
‘What`s that?’
‘Fly spray sir, stop any creepy crawlies getting in the car.’ Snarling Bill leapt for the can snatching it out of the man's hand.
‘No need for that sir’ the man was outraged, but so was Bill.
‘Good God! Man do you know what you nearly did? Dashed all the hopes of Newton Vale’
Bill paid for his petrol, leaving a confused forecourt attendant scratching his head.
‘It`s them from the north, all crazy’ he said to his mate ‘uncouth lot’ his mate nodded.
Bill arrived back at the club at the end of a training session.
‘Got the answer lads’ he called as he pushed open the door, his arms full of the box.
‘Oh yeh, another special trainer?’ big All said disdainfully.
‘No, wait and see’
The players all gathered round, Bill started to undo the string.
‘What`s that smell, new liniment?’
‘No the cleaners did an extra clean this morning.’
‘They've done that before, but them flies still come back’ one of the players said.
‘It`s fly spray!’ Billy stopped what he was doing ‘Quick outside’
The players, in a variety of stages of undress, followed him out. There, he told them his plan.
‘Permanent removal of the flies this time, not a quick fix from the cleaners’
‘Right we`ll get the cleaners back to do another clean with dirty water,’ said big Al, always a decisive thinker.
‘Bill take them spiders to a warm place till we've got rid of the smell.’
So it was that the spiders took up residence in the changing room. They grew and thrived. Bill`s dad was proud of their work for his son's club. The club started to win home games, then away games. The players' confidence soared.
‘You know what they say’ said Bill
‘If you wish to live and thrive,
Let the spiders run alive’
It became the supporter's new chant. Nobody knew what it meant, but it sounded good at the matches. Bill decided to reward the team with a new strip. It was only natural that it should be black and white, with a large black spider as a logo on the front. The players wore it with pride. They`re in the second division now, and take it in turns to feed the spiders with flies found in their own homes. They are choosing a name for all four spiders
‘Good team exercise,’ Bill said.
When people ask them why they had a spider logo on their strip, they only smile and tap their noses knowingly.